Tag: berrypastelrainbowcy

You always had this uncanny ability to get under my skin. That was true from the moment I met you until…

 It only took one smile from you and all of my inhibitions would come unglued.

I think about that moment you approached me in that cafe, our cafe, all the time. What would I do if I were ever given the chance to relive that night again? Part of me wants to scream, run away, it’s not worth the pain. The rest of me screams to hold you tight, breathe in every moment deeply until every fiber of your existences is etched into my soul.

Because I know it won’t last.

Do you remember how that day went? I do. The image of you from then is ingrained so deeply into my mind that it is the only thing I see when I close my eyes anymore. I can feel the warmth your body, hear the sweet silky waves of your voice flowing over me… smell the lingering puffs of your cigarette poorly masked by the cheap gum you always chewed after.

I miss you.

Riegel: Let me buy you a drink.

Cosmo: I’m sorry, but as you can see, I’m afraid I already have one.

Mint gum and menthol cigarettes. I can still smell it if I close my eyes, feel the gentle caress of your breath against my face. For years I fought with you about quitting. I hated the smell, how it lingered in our bedroom even after a shower and fresh set of clothes.

What I wouldn’t give to have it back.

Ironic, isn’t it? Everything about you that drove me mad before are the very things that haunt me the most. That’s the thing about loss though. It opens up your mind to exactly how lucky you were to have what was gone.

If only I had known before it was too late.