You were never late.
It didn’t matter what case you were on, what happened on the job; when it was date night, you were never late. That was one of the things that I loved most about you. I always came before anything else.
But that should have been the first sign that something was amiss.
I sat at that table at the rundown Korean Barbeque place that you loved so much never doubting for a second that you would walk through that door at any moment.
I could feel it coming before it happened.
What “it” was, I didn’t know, but from the moment I woke up to the moment I got the call, I felt it in my bones. There was something about that day that was just off. A feeling that I just couldn’t shake.
Cosmo: Can’t you just stay home?
Riegel: You know I would if I could, but we’re short-handed.
Cosmo: Please?
You laugh that deep roaring of a laugh that you would do when you think I’m “being adorable,” as you would say, and pinch the bridge of my nose.
Riegel: Cosmo, don’t be difficult.
Cosmo: I’m not being difficult.
I shivered as your hands slide down my arms and you pull me closer, resting your forehead against mine.
Riegel: Eight hours. Just wait, eight hours and I’m yours for the whole weekend.
Cosmo: The whole weekend, huh?
Riegel: Promise.
I should have held you longer, tighter… begged you to stay. But I didn’t. Now it’s too late.
Three weeks, two days, and 21 hours. That’s how long it took you to kiss me after we met that day in the cafe. You would always laugh that I knew exactly who long it took for it to happen. But what you don’t know are all the times I stopped breathing anytime you would lean a little closer to me. How every fiber of my being screamed out for even the smallest of your touches.
Had you planned it to happen where it did? It seemed almost too perfect. We were walking in the park next to the cafe where we had met. The moonlight would break through the canopy of cherry trees speckling the ground with little flecks of light that made it look as if we were walking in the stars. You did always make sure everything was perfect.
I could tell it was coming in the moments right before it happened. You were always confident and collected, but you weren’t then. Every muscle in your body was tense with anticipation, your hands shoved awkwardly in your pant pockets. Even the way you walked was stiff.
Cosmo: It’s a little chilly tonight.
I said trying to get you to relax a little. You stopped and turned towards me, your jaw tense and eyes wondering.
Riegel: It is the last day of summer, after all.
Your voice was soft and breathless. You leaned in, your left hand gentling cradling the side of my neck and I was screaming inside.
Three weeks, two days, and 21 hours.
That’s how long I spent every second of my existence waiting for it to happen.
Cosmo: You know it makes me uncomfortable when you do that.
Riegel: Do what?
Cosmo: Get close like that… I can’t breathe.
You grinned that grin when you know that you are driving me crazy. Your breath ghosts across my lips and it’s as if every nerve ending in my body is alive for the first time. Would I ever get used to having you close?
Riegel: What are you going to do about it?
You squeaked like a started puppy as I grabbed your waist, flipping you down on the bed. You stared at me in shock. When had meek little me gotten so bold? But then… it melts away, and you look at me in a way that you have never looked at me before.
Riegel: I love you, Cosmo Snowfall.
I love you too, Riegel. I never got to express that enough.
The day you graduated from the Police Academy was one of the happiest I had ever seen you. You came sauntering in, your head held high. This is one of my favorite memories of you… of us.
Riegel: So, how do I look?
Cosmo: Like a nerd wearing a uniform.
Riegel: A sexy nerd, right?
Cosmo: Is that even possible?
You walked up to me, leaning forward and placing your hand on my chest. I prayed that you wouldn’t be able to feel how fast my heart was racing, that you wouldn’t notice me turning my palms into the bed. Your voice is low and dark as you speak. I just want to melt into the bed.
Riegel: Cosmo.
Cosmo: As long as it takes to get him back.
There is a weariness in her eyes as she sighs in defeat, her shoulders slumping and her mouth pushed in a straight line. She’s trying to not let me see her frustration, but I know it’s there. I feel it too.
Harmony: What if…
Cosmo: [quiet] I never get him back?
She slides into bed with me, gently touching her face. The tips of her fingers are chilled from the cold autumn outside. She regrets bringing it up, I can tell from the way she chews on her lower lip.
Harmony: I worry about you.
Cosmo: I know.
Harmony: Maybe it’s time to let him go.
Cosmo: I can’t… I just… It’s one thing to break up… it’s another to…
Harmony: Shh, I know Cosmo, I know. We can stay in and watch a movie.
Cosmo: Don’t you ever get tired of spending your Fridays cooped up with my sorry behind?
Harmony: [chuckles] There’s nowhere I’d rather be.
Knock, knock, knock.
Shittake… I forgot all about Harmony. She’s going to hate me.
Harmony: [yelling from the front door] You better have a good reason for standing me up again, Cosmo! There is only so much of this a girl can take!
She walks into the room and looks right at me. The anger on her face melts away and her feature becomes soft. I know doesn’t mean to, but I hate when she looks at me like that… like I’m a broken toy that she wants to fix…
…what she doesn’t realize is that she can’t.
Harmony: You called him again, didn’t you?
Cosmo: Maybe…
Harmony: How did it go?
Cosmo: I’m sure you can guess.
Harmony: Maker… how long are you going to keep doing this to yourself, Cos?
Harmony: [looking at phone] That son of a bitch stood me up again. Just you wait, when I’m done with his berry ass sure is going to be raw. Who does he think he is?
[starts a call]
Voicemail: Hi, you have reached Cosmo Snowfall. I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as I can…and…If this is Harmony, I’m sorry, okay? I have a good reason I promise.
Harmony: Cosmo, you idiot! How many times are you going to do this to me? [sighs] I’m coming over whether you like it or not. Not that you’ll get this before I get there since you’re always dodging my calls you [yells into phone] BERRYHOLE.
What you did next, I would have never believed that any person would have the audacity to do. Here I was, a person you had just met, and you reached clear across the table and swiped the mug I was drinking from straight out of my hands.
Who does that kind of thing? I remember thinking as I watched the slow bob of your Adam’s apple as you drank the whole cup of hot tea without coming up for air.
Riegel: Would you look at that? It appears that you are in need of another drink.
Cosmo: That was really rude.
Riegel: Maybe. But a desperate man does desperate things.
Cosmo: What on earth could you be so desperate for that you would do something so obnoxious?
Riegel: I want you to notice me.
It was that moment that I looked at you. Really looked at you, taking in the gentle tug of the smile on your face. That was all it took for me to know…
I was doomed to fall in love.
You always had this uncanny ability to get under my skin. That was true from the moment I met you until…
It only took one smile from you and all of my inhibitions would come unglued.
I think about that moment you approached me in that cafe, our cafe, all the time. What would I do if I were ever given the chance to relive that night again? Part of me wants to scream, run away, it’s not worth the pain. The rest of me screams to hold you tight, breathe in every moment deeply until every fiber of your existences is etched into my soul.
Because I know it won’t last.
Do you remember how that day went? I do. The image of you from then is ingrained so deeply into my mind that it is the only thing I see when I close my eyes anymore. I can feel the warmth your body, hear the sweet silky waves of your voice flowing over me… smell the lingering puffs of your cigarette poorly masked by the cheap gum you always chewed after.
I miss you.
Riegel: Let me buy you a drink.
Cosmo: I’m sorry, but as you can see, I’m afraid I already have one.
Berrybloomsims 